


Anything but Him

by Pastel_Teacups



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Guns, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 06:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3164111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastel_Teacups/pseuds/Pastel_Teacups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, Bill.” His mother pipes up before excusing herself, and Rick wants to scream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything but Him

Rick detests guns. 

He has ever since the war. Him with a gun meant people dead, and when he gets one in his hands the weight he feels is almost too much to bear. 

And then he gets home, and his father takes him shooting. 

He acts normal. 

Acts, like he’d had to his entire first life. 

Like he’ll have to in his second. 

He hits the bullseye, holds the gun in his hands like it doesn’t make his stomach twist. He’s a good son. 

He has to be.

And then he hears them talking about the Walkers, about _Kieren_ , and as they talk he realizes it’s in a vague way, like there’s something obvious that Rick is missing. 

He shouldn’t ask, but he does. 

“What happened?”

There’s a long pause, and when Rick turns to his mother she looks guilty. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.” 

Rick knows he shouldn’t push it, but he has to know. “Oh, come on, tell us.” He coaxes casually as he can, looking down at his gun. “He didn’t get kicked out of college, did he?” 

The mere thought of it makes him smile. Kieren, out of art school for some petty offense. It sounds so ridiculous that he almost hopes it’s that. Comical. Simple. 

“Nah,” his father says brightly, like it’s nothing at all. “Killed himself.” 

The smile slips off Rick’s face as quickly as it came. 

“Weak end for a weakling.” 

“You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, Bill.” His mother pipes up before excusing herself, and Rick wants to scream. 

Kieren, _his_ Kieren, offed himself. He wants to know when, how. But more than anything he wants to know _why_.

The gun feels cold when he picks it up, but it’s nothing compared to knowing his wide-eyed best mate (and maybe something more) is gone from his life forever.

He doesn’t know what he’s shooting at, and he doesn’t realize he’s holding a breath he doesn’t need until the gun is hot and he stops shooting his imaginary demons.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Comments/Kudos/Criticisms are always welcome!


End file.
